


I Know

by Ehmzhie



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M, Other, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Suicide Attempt, Summary may be changed as the story progresses
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-14
Updated: 2016-04-23
Packaged: 2018-05-20 12:28:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6006078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ehmzhie/pseuds/Ehmzhie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He saw it. He knew. He had lost him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Alea iacta est

                         He realized, so he hurried, hurried back home. He drives like a madman, he can’t wait and at the same time scared to face him. To tell his husband everything, even if it means hating him. He can tolerate the disgusted look, a slap, and hateful words. _I deserved it._

                        He arrived at their house, he looked at the living room, dining room, bathroom, kitchen and lastly, the bedroom but his husband is nowhere to be found. He sighed and resigned himself into waiting for his husband thinking that maybe he just took their dog Nigou for a walk. But then he saw something, an innocent brown envelope with a sticky note on it lying on top of their bed. He must've overlooked it because he was searching for _him_ earlier. He took calculative steps to pick it up and read what's inside, but then he stopped. Even without picking it up, he had read it. Those two words in the sticky note felt like he’s been punched in the gut really hard. He’s too late.

                        _No. No. No. No._ Like a broken record he repeated to chant. He can’t lose him like this. His sins catching up to him more than he can handle. He had fallen down on his knees when he proposed to his husband way back three years ago. And now’s the second time. He doesn’t really care if anyone saw him like this. He doesn’t give a shit or two to anything right now. They say that you never really know the importance or value of something that you have until it was gone. He laughs at the thought though, because it’s so damn right. Even though he does not want to be right this time he knows. God he knows, he have lost him. That thought made him choke back a sob. He doesn’t even deserved to cry, it’s his fault that his husband is gone and so, he cries, silently inside.

 

                      _I know._


	2. Let It All Out

Faster. Faster. Faster. He runs towards their favorite viewing spot when night time falls. Yes, the pain would go away now. He resigned his faith into that one final step to end it all.

 

Why did he have to change?

Why with  ** _him_** of all people?

WHY?! WHY?! WHY?!

You know what they say about dying? When a person is about to die, his/her life flashes right before their eyes?

 

REGRET. If there's one thing he ever regretted in life now that he's going to die is that decision he made 9 months ago. Yes, he wanted to see and explore the world with his very own eyes. To pursue one of the many things he loves. And so, he made that decision, but he did not know that the cost of it all would be his husband. What face would his husband be making when he found out that he's dead? Guilt? Relieved? Now that he's dead so that they won't have to hide anymore because there's no more hindrance? 

 

He's a strong person, he really is. He triumphantly overcame the challenges and heartbreaks back in middle school and high school. But this time is very different from that. He vowed to the Lord to love his husband in sickness and in health, till death do them part. But waking up every morning after knowing that his husband is cheating on him, felt like he died a million times inside each time. He's a fool and an idiot to boot. Acting like he doesn't know, making and doing things he doesn't usually do just to make his husband to turn and look at him, but nothing ever works. He's mad at himself, because even after knowing that his husband is cheating on him, he still can't leave _him_ because he still loves  _him_ so much. But on the day of their anniversary, what he saw made him think that this is all too much. It's their anniversary day so why did his husband did that? Oh, yeah right, he's already forgotten. Only an accessory of what people called a partner in life. And so, he stepped forward.

 

"Are you crazy?!" "What the hell do you think you're doing?!" A stranger grabbed his arm to prevent him from falling. The words being said to him barely registered in his mind. Why did this person stopped him? Is he blind? Can't this person see he wanted to die? To end everything.

 

"Kuroko?!" That voice sounded so familiar. Not now. He doesn't want someone or anybody he knew to see him like this - broken. They'll ask questions. Too many questions that he doesn't want to answer and look back to.

 

"Look at me." That person, plead. Kuroko didn't budged. "Kuroko, please look at me." That person pleaded again. Kuroko doesn't want to because he can feel it, the dam would burst open. But that person touched and tilted his chin upwards which made him looked up. Kuroko realized something upon looking up. Why him of all people found out about him committing suicide? Even though they're not close and would only greet each other when passing by.

 

The look on that person's face told him it's okay, like he understands what Kuroko needs the most or what happened to him to end up like this. Kuroko doesn't want to, but looking at that person's eyes and seeing his own reflection, he knows. Plus, a hand on his shoulder, telling him to let it all out. And so, he did. With the sky empathizing with him. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, another short chapter since this is like an introduction. If you have any questions, please feel free to comment or message me. Ciao!


	3. The Catalyst

It's also raining that day. That time when Akashi Seijuro, 18 years old and Kuroko Tetsuya, 18 years old became a couple. They both go to different high school, one in Kyoto at Rakuzan High while the other is in Tokyo, at Seirin High. Both of them were third year students, concentrating and studying for the college they like to go and career to pursue. That day, they met their friends to play basketball together for the last time in high school before graduating since all of them could or would only meet occasionally after graduation. For one Kuroko Tetsuya, this is now or never. It is a precious moment for him, everyone present, playing together the one thing they commonly love - basketball. And, this might be the last time he'll see Akashi, since the latter would be studying business at Harvard University in Cambridge, Massachusetts (he researched about it). Kuroko, for the longest time, love Akashi. At first, he is grateful, for giving him the opportunity to play basketball with the talent that he have and harnessing it together with the people he became friends with. Then, it became admiration, because Akashi is a good leader. Thinking about how everyone would improve and harmonized in playing. As time progressed, he felt different, his heart throbbing so fast when Akashi smiles at him and the simple gestures Akashi made at him like a pat on the shoulder leave a burning sensation he didn’t know existed within him. Then, on the second year in their middle school, everything changed. As they kept on winning, nobody smiles anymore. Winning is all they cared about, they did not enjoy playing basketball like the way they do back then.

When everyone finished playing, they ate at Maji Burger, Kuroko and Kagami’s favourite fast food place. Momoi Satsuki, 18 with a pink hair and eyes, knew about Kuroko’s feelings for Akashi and vice versa. Well, everyone knew about those two, except the two of them being oblivious in each other's feelings. She talked to Akashi, to walked Kuroko home and confess. While on the other side, Kuroko’s bestfriend Kagami, with a darker red hair and eyes, despite being insensitive and an idiot managed to cheer his friend up by telling him to confess. “It’s now or never Kuroko.” Kagami said to Kuroko with a pat on his shoulder before parting their ways with everyone.

“I’ll walked you home.” said Akashi to Kuroko.

“Aren’t you going back home?” Kuroko asked with a poker face, but deep inside he’s nervous that he thinks Akashi might see him through. “Your father might be looking for you.” He adds.

“Well, I told my father that I’ll be going home late today since this might be the last chance that I’ll be able to play basketball with everyone again.” Akashi mused with a small smile in his face.

“Hmm.” Kuroko hummed while clenching his left hand so that Akashi won’t see. 5 more minutes and we’re gonna be at my house. 5 more minutes before I lose him forever. 5 more minutes to tell him how I feel.

They were passing by a park playground with kids playing basketball when Akashi suddenly says “You know Kuroko, ever since I lost during the Winter Cup on our first year, my father was greatly disappointed on me.” Akashi said with a nostalgic look on his face. “He was so disappointed in me that he didn’t even talked to me for a whole year. But,” Akashi stopped walking, Kuroko, noticing that Akashi wasn’t walking beside him anymore looked back and called. “Akashi-kun?”.

“I told him everything, how I felt all these years. How I changed because of the expectations I was burdened to carry, more so after my mother died.” Kuroko did not say a word, waiting for Akashi to continue. 

“I expect him to shout at me or even hit me, but my father remained calm and told me to leave him be.” Akashi smiled a bitterly.

“I thought to myself”, Akashi looked at the sky as it turned into a deep purple and red like the light refusing to fade away. “Maybe he didn’t even loved me at all, or I’m just an heir he needed to mould to be like him so that I could continue the Akashi bloodline. But, something I really did not expect happened.” Akashi glanced at Kuroko.

Kuroko looked at him, deciphering what Akashi was thinking with the look that he send him.

“It was on golden week last year, I was playing the violin at my room when somebody knocked on my door. I thought it was our family butler, so I told him to enter. Imagined my surprised when I saw my father.” Akashi chuckled a little.

“Sorry for telling you something like this Kuroko.” Akashi smiled apologetically while walking to where Kuroko stand.

“Not at all Akashi-kun.” Kuroko shaked his head. “Could I hear the rest of the story?” I’ll get us something to drink so please sit down here on the bench.” Before hearing Akashi’s response. He walks away to find a vending machine.

Akashi sighed while sitting down. He’s not himself at all. Babbling his feelings about his father on Kuroko. Well, he can’t help it. It’s Kuroko after all. The one who brought him back, no, everyone to their senses. The only person he often talks to is Midorima, who understood the things he say but acts like he doesn’t care because he is a tsundere. He talks to Kuroko seldomly, even though Kuroko doesn’t say much, he felt at ease with his presence because he knew that the other understood. Those two are the only people he would ever talked about like this. Except for his teammate Reo who is like a nagging mother even though he is in college now. They still communicate with one another. Reo said that Akashi is like a little brother to him. Even though he does not admit to it himself. He knew that he also likes talking to Reo, the difference between talking to Midorima and Kuroko from Reo is that, the latter is very straightforward about the things Akashi himself doesn’t even want to talk about (especially the matters of the heart).

“Sorry for the wait Akashi-kun.” Kuroko said while holding a two canned drinks at both hands. “I was debating with myself of what to get you, in the end I managed to pick coffee.”

Akashi looked at him questioningly. “I thought it suits you.” Kuroko said while looking Akashi straight in the eye. “Like reading a newspaper in the morning wearing reading glasses while sipping hot coffee with a piece of bread during breakfast.” 

Akashi chuckled at Kuroko’s explanation. “Is that what you imagined I do in the mornings?” he teased while gesturing for Kuroko to sit beside him.

“Well, I can’t help it. You look like the type to do those things.” Kuroko pout while giving Akashi his coffee and sitting down beside the latter. “Please continue.”

“How could I continue my story with you pouting like that?” Akashi said with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

“I am not pouting.” Kuroko said while drinking the canned drink he bought.

“Yes you are.” said Akashi, “And here I thought you only like vanilla milkshake of Maji Burger.” He looked at Kuroko who is drowning in bliss while drinking a vanilla flavored drink.

“Anything vanilla or with vanilla is delicious.” Kuroko said without a second thought.

“Anything?” asked Akashi with a low voice.

“Anythi-” Kuroko stopped, sensing something was amiss, he called “Akashi-kun.”

“Hmmm” Akashi responded after taking a sip of his coffee.

“No, it’s nothing.” Kuroko said averting eye contact with Akashi.

“Well, should I go and continue the story now? It’s getting quite late.” Akashi said while looking at his wrist watch.

“Yes, please do.” Answered Kuroko with a small smile.

“Well, imagined my surprise when my father bowed to me and apologized for not being a good father to me.” Akashi sips his coffee and then looked at Kuroko in the eyes.

“He said that he finally realized what he’s done. That my mother in heaven would surely be disappointed in him for making me into someone I’m not. We talked for hours, what I’ve felt about him and when my mother died, and my father on the other hand, talked about how he could make it up to me.”

Kuroko never knew that the day would come, the bond between Akashi and his father would be mended. He never met Akashi’s father but the way Akashi often spoke about his father, he knew that that person is much more scary or intimidating than Akashi himself. 

Kuroko puts a hand on Akashi’s shoulder. “That’s good. Now you can live your life the way you want to.”

“Well, I’ll still inherit our company when I graduate in college.” Akashi said, Kuroko catched in Akashi’s voice his excitement for the future, as for him - well, that’s a different story. He looked away, contemplating on what to say for him not to think about being separated away after this.

“Must be nice”, Kuroko finally said with a heartfelt smile. Betraying the emotions he’s feeling inside. “As for me, I wanted to be a teacher. I like kids you see.” 

Kuroko then looked at Akashi, wanting to see the other’s expression.

“I love you.” Akashi said without warning and even batting his eyes.

“Eh?” Surprised by the sudden confession, Kuroko only managed to say one word.  
Akashi Seijuro, a dashing young man with a fiery red hair and charismatic red eyes repeated his words. “I love you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for updating just now. A lot of things happened in the past two months, but I can finally say that I'll update this story every after two weeks. And oh, this chapter should be 10 pages long but I decided to cut it off.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for the mistakes that I've made since this is unbeta'ed. I know, this is so short. Sorry for the very little information about this story since I want you guys to form hypotheses and share it with me so that I can also get some suggestions from you even though I already have the outline of the story done. It may help me tweak some changes. This story has been on my mind for quite a while now so I have to make into a story. Lastly, this has multiple chapters.


End file.
